A Long Time Coming
by Extraho
Summary: The resentment Louis holds for Harvey runs deeper than mere professional competitive pettiness. At Harvard Law, Harvey lost a bet and had to do a dare; sleep with the no 1 of their class; Louis Litt. He failed, so he tried harder, and harder, until he succeeded. And Louis found out. Seventeen years later Harvey starts to realise the severity of his actions. Harvey/Louis poss. mpreg
1. Chapter 1

TITLE; A Long Time Coming

CHARACTERS; Harvey/Louis  
RATING: T for now but will be MAJOR** MMMMMM** in some chapters, You have been warned!  
WIP OR COMPLETE; WIP  
WARNINGS.

DISCLAIMER;  
Don't own, please don't sue.

T/M for some sexual language/activity but not as graphic as my usual stuff per now... mainly M topics like sexual harassment, hazing, talk of abortion/miscarriage ect.

SUMMARY; The resentment Louis holds for Harvey runs deeper than mere professional competitive pettiness. At Harvard Law, Harvey lost a bet and had to do a dare; sleep with the no 1 of their class; Louis Litt. He failed, so he tried harder, and harder, until he succeeded. And Louis found out. Seventeen years later Harvey starts to realise the severity of his actions. Harvey/Louis poss. mpreg

* * *

"So... what's actually the deal between Louis and Harvey?" Mike asked as he watched the two Senior Partners go at each other in the conference room.

Jessica flipped through some papers,"Honestly, I have no idea."

"None what so ever?" Mike looked dubious. "C'mon, if I'm gonna be junior partner, I need to be in on the gossip."

Jessica chuckled, "The gossip, is that Louis is insanely jealous," she said and headed toward her office.

Mike snorted, "I guess I get that 'in the shadow' bit, but his billable is higher, now that he's a senior partner, he earns more than Harvey..."

Jessica chuckled again and shook her head, "Oh Mike, Louis isn't jealous of Harvey."

"Then what is it?"

"He hates him," she stated simply.

Mike just stared at her. When she didn't follow up on her statement he spoke, "What? There has to be a reason."

"Oh there is a reason," She said, "I don't know what it is, but there is a reason."

"Any guesses?"

Jessica put down her report, "Look, all I know is that when I checked up on my future employees at Harvard, Louis and Harvey were joined at the hip. Best friends. Next thing I know, Louis tosses Harvey out on his ass and postpones his contract two years for 'personal' reasons."

"What do you mean 'out on his ass'? They lived together?"

"He certainly had a habit of invading Louis' space," she murmured to herself.

"If they hate each other so much, so do you keep them both?"

At that she just snorted, knowing Mike wanted Louis out of his life, "Because they're the best. They make each other the best. After Harvey and Louis got hanging together, Harvey went from no. 24th to the 5th in his year. And Louis, he was always no 1, but he's a bit of a progeny himself."

"I get he's good, but..."

"He's also four years younger than Harvey."

"No way..."

"Oh way... but don't judge Louis too much. Harvey goes out of his way to piss him off at every turn. If I didn't know better, I'd think Harvey was pulling pig-trails."

_"Kiss my ass Harvey -" Louis snapped at him._

_"Already did that, sweetheart-" Harvey shot back_.

Mike glanced over his shoulder to see Louis march of and Harvey stand there with a smug look on his face. "Yeah, I see what you mean."

Louis closed the door to his glass office and sat down. Even as he'd finally made senior partner, the youngest in the firm, he wanted to leave.

He really wasn't sure he could take going head to head with Harvey every damn day. He'd suffered it for twenty years. Granted, it had started out as an enjoyable competition, but it had quickly turned sour after... after that.

He fought down nausea. God, he couldn't even think about it without becoming sic.

Even tough they had been in the same year, Louis had been the lightly effeminate, geeky, five year younger kid who did ballet, while Harvey was the hot-shot player on campus who did boxing and played baseball.

They couldn't have been more different.

Yet somehow, he'd caught the interest of legendary Harvey Specter. Even back then being 'closed' by Harvey Specter was something girls bragged about.

Later he realised the many of the girls bragged to cover up their hurt. The rejection.

Louis shook his head, he had a doctors appointment to get to.

* * *

Harvey watched Louis walk away from him. A pang of regret hit him in his chest but he pushed it down ruthlessly.

It was better this way.

Harvey chuckled at his own thought. Like it every had the possibility of being any other way. He shook the thoughts from his head. He had work to do and he'd be damned if he'd give 'Lucy' Litt another change to shove it in his face.

* * *

_Seventeen years ago_

_"C'mon Specter, you lost, now you have to pay your dues." Tony snickered. _

_Harvey scoffed, "C'mon, anyone else. He's a guy." _

_"Some might not agree. He does ballet." _

_Harvey paused. He had to admit, that was actually a tad tempting. But he did not 'do' guys. Not even the baby-lawyer. Harvey glanced across the park to see the little prodigy with a book in his lap. As always. _

_The kid was attractive. Perhaps not conventionally, but he was. He was a good head shorter than Harvey. His hair was dark and wild, which really set off those hazel-green eyes. And the way he stretched his legs out as he got up-_

_"Oh oh oh, looks like Specter won't need much convincing," Chris taunted. _

_"Shut up," Harvey said and got up to follow his prey._

* * *

A/N; So I realised that there wasn't actually any stories that explored Harvey's and Louis' resentment for each other, so I decided to do it. I know the way I describe Louis might seem a bit OCC, but it has a reason, an additional reason than just being nearly twenty years younger in the flashbacks. So, please tell me what you think. The Mpreg is not definite yet. What do you guys think?

And do you know of any sub/bottom!Harvey stories? I'm having some trouble finding them! There really are too few. I've got one of those in the works as well!


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm sorry Louis, but the trial has been shut down."

Louis just stared at his doctor, "You've got to be kidding me- I, I need this! You know that!"

"I know," Dr. Vore leaned back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I know you need this, but the drug started causing problems in some of the patients, so it was shut down."

"What exactly was the problem?"

"In short, the drug seems to have made a few people infertile."

"Isn't that what we're here for?" Louis asked, getting a little desperate.

"Partially," Dr. Vore agreed, "In your part of the trial, the intention was, as you know, to permanently reverse the effects of your condition, not just the fertility issue. The drug did not have the desired effect; any effects are temporary, and the drug itself is too damaging to the system to conti-"

"I don't care, shoot the entire baby-making stuff to hell, I -"

"Not the baby-making stuff," Dr. Vore said gravely, "Your liver and kidneys." He sighed, "You're one of the lucky few me managed to catch in time before it did any real damage. According to my findings, the antibodies left behind after-" he glanced up at his patient, "Protected you from the worst of it. But we can't continue. It will kill you."

"So... I go off the meds and I just go back to the way I was?"

Dr. Vore nodded, "In essence, but not entirely. You've had the drug in your system for so long, your body started producing more testosterone on it's own."

Louis felt a touch of hope in his chest. "Which means?"

"The most obvious effects of the drug will wear off, the weight gain and hair loss, body hair will probably drop very quickly, but it will take a while to be normal. But things like your voice and height will probably remain as it is."

Louis sat back in his chair, trying to get to grips with his new reality. "So apart from... losing weight and having hair, nothing will change much superficially?"

"No. We believe not, but you'll have to continue coming. More frequently preferably so we can keep track of the changes. This way we have a better chance of figuring out what went wrong, and not making the same mistake next time."

Louis nodded. Next time. It was just temporary. But... "I won't be able to qualify for next time, will I?"

Dr. Vore shook his head, "No. And I know that this might now be much of a comfort for you, but you've done a great thing. You, along with a handful of other people had results very different from the rest. In the new trial, we will be able to adjust the parameters, along with the dosage and composition with the drug. It's been disappointing for you, but if you hadn't done this, the entire trial would have been trashed permanently."

Louis nodded, "I understand."

"Louis, we have had a solid relationship for ten years. I will see you through this. Even if the trial is over, I'm still a doctor. I'd be happy to be your primary, if it would make you feel more at ease with the process."

Louis nodded, "It would. It really would."

_Seventeen years ago_

_Louis was out celebrating their first successful rehearsal with the ballet crew. He didn't exactly have the biggest part, but he didn't mind. He was an excellent dancer. Even their instructor said so. Just a pity he was actually just too small to do the lifts with the girls. Most were taller than him! _

_But they loved him anyway, because was an excellent dancer, and they all knew it. _

_He wasn't really much of a drinker, which was a good thing judging by the way the boxing varsity boys were watching them. three of them did law, but none of them were in the top 20 as far as he knew. _

_Though he supposed you didn't have to if you were an undefeated attack dog like Harvey Specter. He'd seen him out to lunch with Jessica Pearson, a partner at Pearson & Hardman, the firm that had already given Louis a contract and full ride. He didn't really understand what was so special about the guy. Not even in the top 20 and he got an offer. Well, there had to be something special about the guy. Louis knew that Specter's strength laid where his weakness was; he could talk. He was a steamroller. Louis wasn't. Louis was more of an elegant dealer. _

_He supposed both talents were of use to Miss. Pearson. _

_He waved down the bartender for another coke&vodka. He was surprised when the drink was on the counter in front of him before he'd even caught the bartenders attention. _

_"I believe this is your poison," he heard a smooth New York accented baritone behind him. _

_Louis turned to see none other than the man he'd been thinking of just a few inches from his face. _

_"Coke&vodka," Harvey said. "Got an early start in the morning?" _

_"Always," Louis stuttered. The man's scent was making him dizzy. _

_"How 'bout we call it a night then? Promise I'll make it worth your while-" HArvey purred agains this neck. _

_Louis shivered. Harvey's voice turned his spine liquid and his stomach molten hot. "No thank's" he stammered. "I'm good." He made his escape, ducking under Harvey's far too big bicep and ran back to his table, where his friends giggled and teased him, having seen the entire thing._

Over the next few weeks, the going got rough at Pearson and Hardman. He supposed he should say 'Pearson', because he knew damn well that Jessica was gathering her forces to strike 'Hardman' off the front door.

They were deal with not two, but three major mergers at the same time, and mergers means numbers, numbers meant that Louis Litt had to be captain of the ship 24/7.

He could curse the timing. He only got the leave the office every other day to shower and change his suit and spare suit. And that was only because Jessica knew he just hated the Peason/Hardman gym.

In essence, it was a boxing gym and Louis was more of a ballet/tennis/Pilates kind of guy. Not to mention, Harvey boxed there. One thing was working with the guy, but showering with him was something he'd laid a lid on over a decade ago.

But being at the office 24/7 also meant that people saw the changes in him. The changes he saw in himself as he showered.

He knew most wrote it up to not eating properly that he suddenly dropped so much weight. It was a nuisance really, because he had to have his suits re-fitted, which he did not really have time for.

His hair was growing like weed and he hadn't had time to go to the hairdresser. Louis ran a hand through his hair. He contemplated just buzzing it all off, but hit that thought with a baseball bat what he saw his body hair left stuck in his shirt. He was... shedding. He wrinkled his nose.

"You knew this was going to happen Louis," he told himself as he found a scrub cloth.

He was worried. Not so much about his looks and health as much as what backtracking in the looks department meant. He wasn't a big guy, and the weight and the body hair and even the bald spot had given him a sort of seniority over his peers. The partners didn't brush him off as a pretty-boy. Not that they ever would, he thought.

But with hair growing like weed, it was not be easy maintaining the close crop he'd become accustomed to.

He sighed in defeat and sat down on the bench in his shower as the water pounded down on him. Sometimes he really hated his life.

* * *

IMPORTANT;

While I've had a vast majority in support of mpreg, and a few opposed, I've decided on a middle ground, as it fits with my plot; past mpreg, and nothing much graphic about it.

Now the **question** is; should the baby A) **die**, B)** given up for adoption**, or C) **been given to the wrong parents** in 'exchange' for a dead baby?

Otherwise; my laptop freaked and I lost sixteen pages of this story. SIXTEEN! aaarg. just my f* luck. So, any takers on the sub/bottom!Harvey thing. Or will I have to write one myself?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3; in which they agree**

"-Harvey!"

"Hm?"

"I've been trying to get your attention for quite a while," Jessica said, hands on her hips. "While you're too busy staring at Louis harassing the bullpen puppies."

"What can I say, he does a good job of it," Harvey shrugged and focused his attention on his boss. "What can I help you with?"

"You and Louis need to attend a party for Todd Akin next week, along with myself."

"What? I won't vote for the guy anyway!"

"But he is looking to become a client with us, and he is a heavy hitter on the political scale."

"I refuse."

"On what grounds."

"On the grounds that I don't want to."

Jessica rolled her eyes, and waved Louis in.

Louis walked in with raised eyebrows, "What can I help you with?"

"You and Harvey need to attend a party for Todd Akin next week."

Louis just stared at her for a moment before he laughed, "Haha, yeah you got me there. Nice one." Jessica stared blankly at him, not amused. "What, you're serious?"

"Yes."

"No way in hell."

Jessica threw her hands in the air. "And why don't you want to go. And don't say just because. Harvey already used that excuse."

"How about, I refuse to connect my name with that douche of a politician. New York is not a 'conservative' hotspot, Jessica, connecting P&H to him is a bad move all around, simply because New York in general is pro-gay-" he counted off on his fingers, "pro-choice, pro-anything-Bush-was-against. People don't like bigoted douches in New York. Money matters squat if our reputation goes down the drain."

Jessica looked a little stunned, "Convincing argument, but I have already RSVP's to our invitations, so we will be going. As for further interactions, I will take your words into serious consideration."

Harvey and Louis watched their boss leave the office, Louis, with a disbelieving expression on his face.

"I know, I couldn't believe her either."

Louis just gave him ablank look before he turned on his heel and marched out of the office.

Seventeen years ago .

Harvey saw Louis trying to reach a book on the shelf. Some girl was using the ladder and another was using the stool. By all means, a person of normal height would reach up easily, but Louis was 5'6; not very tall for a guy. It certainly didn't mach up for Harvey's 6'3.

He was even on his tip-toes, the way only a ballet dancer could. Harvey smiled wickedly and stepped in behind the younger man.

Louis startled and stumbled, only to be secured against a warm and wide chest by a strong arm. And, he noticed, his bum flush against the man's lightly swelled groin. He saw another arm reach up to take the book he'd been trying to reach. It took him a few seconds to regain his bearings and try to get out of the warm embrace.

Harvey grinned to himself as Louis tried to get away from him. He losened his grip just enough for him to turn around in his arms. "You should be more careful," he hummed.

"You again?" Louis scowled. "Didn't you get the message last time?"

Harvey cocked his head in a puppy like fashion. He had screwed up last time. He'd kind of counted on Louis not knowing who he was. But as he did, plan B. "Look, I screwed up. I had a few extra for courage and it backfired."

"Courage for what?"

"Asking you to dinner?"

"That a question or a statement?"

"Statment- phrased as a question for the purpose of asking you to dinner."

Louis felt a flush spread over his cheeks. "I'm busy."

Damn. "I know you are," Harvey tried again, "You didn't become top of our class by not being busy. So I figured... study date with food?"

"When?" Louis asked suspiciously.

"Any time."

"Okay... thursday at five."

Harvey paused. He had boxing practice at five thirty. "Sure." No wait, what? "I'll see you then. Where should we meet?"

"Park."

And that's where they had their sparring. Great.

"It's a date." He winked and handed him the book he'd been trying to grab. He walked away with a strut, unreasonably proud of the blush colouring the cheeks of the younger lawyer-to-be.

A/N; Finally got my laptop back folks! yay! now i've got a paper to write for tomorrow :(


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: When Donna starts sniffing

"So what is up with you and Louis?" she asked as she put the papers down on Harvey's desk as he was preparing to leave.

"Nothing," Harvery replied without missing a beat.

"Harvey, I'm Donna, I know everything. You might as well just tell me. I'll find out. You've been dancing around each other all week."

"There is nothing to find out Donna," Harvey insisted. "And I don't dance."

"Your pants are on fire."

"Only cause I'm hot!" he smirked and closed his briefcase.

He left the office with a cocky smirk. He exchanged a CD with Ray and discussed the presidential election on the drive to his flat.

Walking into the empty penthouse he left his briefcase on the kitchen counter and his jacket neatly folded on a chair. He headed straight to the safe and opened it with practised ease. He pushed a few documents, his passport and a gun out of the way. He picked up the old envelope and went to the couch. Carefully he fished out the pictures.

His heart clenched as he saw his younger self, beaming with joy, his arms wrapped around Louis who was laughing hard. He remembered he'd been breathless as Harvey ticked him mercilessly.

He remembered how they'd made love that evening.

He remembered how he'd screwed up only a few days later.

Sighing heavily he started getting ready for that blasted gala.

Not too far away, Louis was getting ready as well. He ran a towel through his hair, frustrated with the thick wild mess.

He was exhausted. The merger was taking everything out of him. If he'd still been a junior partner he could have bowed out of this thing, but no, now he was a senior partner. The company's interests were his interests.

Getting dressed in his newly fitted tux he noticed the waist was a little loose. Cursing he ties the belt extra tight and got going.

He sighed and put his sleazy lawyer mask back on as his car pulled up in front of the venue. He pointedly ignored the people queuing and strode past them. The doorman, recognising him from previous events, crossed his name off the list as he approached and greeted him, "Mr. Litt."

Louis nodded in greeting and headed straight to the bar. For his nerves. "Louis," Harvey and Jessica greeted, "you're late."

"I'm right on time," he replied without missing a beat and accepted the scotch from the bartender.

"Don't hit that too heavy," Harvey teased, "I know what a lightweight you are."

Louis, not feeling up to the banter didn't reply, settling for an impassive glance at his colleague.

"We never did get our defences straight," Harvey continues as if he hadn't noticed Louis ignoring him. "Jessica wants to involve the firm in higher ups politics, but..."

"This guy is not the way to go," Louis cut him off. "I don't have words that describe how much the guy should not be in any seat of power."

"I agree..." Harvey trailed off, "but I don't get why you're so... Passionate about your hate for this guy."

"He's the creep of all creeps, Harvey. He knocks Darth Vadar out of the competition for douchbaggery."

"Why do I have a feeling this is personal?" Harvey asked, "beyond your political views?"

"I care about politics Specter," Louis replied. "politicians make laws that I think are fucked in the head-" Harvey raised a brow as Louis wasn't really one to swear up a storm, "-then I have a serious issue with that."

Louis noticed Harveys attention wander for a brief moment until all colour seemed to drain from his face. "what, Lord of the Flies just walk in?"

"Narcissa Jackson," Harvey said with clenched teeth. "Louis, I know you hate me, but could you please do me a huge favour tonight?"

"Depends," Louis replied. While he enjoyed Harvey begging, he knew Harvey did not beg for scraps.

"Be my partner tonight."

Louis burst out laughing, "haha, eh, no," he replied.

"Louis please," Harvey whispered, his jaw clenched, "you know what kind of vulture she is. The only reason she backed off in law school was because I was dating you. You're the only one she never beat at everything!"

Narcissa Jackson had been no2 in their class and boy had she made sure everyone knew that. The only one she hadn't treated like shit was Louis, because he was no 1. And Harvey, because she had at some point decided that he was the perfect husband, and if nothing else, she would have her heir by him.

He couldn't deny that his genes were excellent, so he couldn't blame her for wanting them. And she was hot. Really hot. He'd stepped right into her trap a few times, until he realised she was trying to sperm-jack him. If it hadn't been for his very, very strict rule about using his own condoms, he would have been a parent right now. He really couldn't stand children. His brothers girls being an exception to that rule.

Louis couldn't stop giggling, "oh Harvey, thanks for that, I needed a good laugh. But no. We never dated, and we're still not dating. And your karma is your own."

"You can have Mike for a week!" Harvey offered, hoping to start a negotiation.

"No."

"My eternal gratitude!"

"No," Louis said as he walked away, laughing.

Harvey cursed under his breath as he saw Narcissa walking towards him.

"Harvey," she greeted in a velvety voice.

* * *

A?N haha, oh dear harvey is in a tight spot right there!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_Seventeen years ago. _

Whoever had thought Louis would be easy to get into bed was a stupid, stupid person, Harvey thought as he headed over for their study session at Louis' flat.

They had been 'going out' for three months and all he'd gotten was some heavy petting and soul-sucking kisses. He'd never waited this long on anyone.

Harvey smiled to himself as he felt the flutter of butterflies when he saw the lights on in the window. With a sudden burst of energy he sprang up the stairs. He chided himself slightly for acting like such a child, but he couldn't help it.

Knocking was something he had stopped doing a long time ago. With a barely suppressed incredibly silly smile on his face he walked into the apartment. He paused. It looked different.

It looked... warmer, more inviting. It _was _warmer, he decided and pulled his sweater over his head. It was down right toasty. Wonderfully roasting hot.

"Louis?" he called and dropped his bag by the couch. "Louis, I - oh..." he words died in his throat as he was Louis in just his boxers, with a thin robe hanging over his shoulders.

"Uh, hi," Louis replied, his cheeks fiercely red and his black fringe falling into his eyes.

Harvey just stood in the doorway, his jaw on the floor. One thing was feeling the long planes of supple yumminess that was the nineteen year old, but _seeing_ the endless legs and all the golden skin he'd barely had a glimpse of before was making wires cross in his brain.

Louis walked up to him and pulled him into the bedroom. Only when they were flush together did Harvey notice that Louis was not just nearly naked, but aroused. Nervous, but aroused.

Harvey, never one to turn down a delicious treat, dove down and captured the inviting pink lips. Louis mewed into the kiss and pressed as close as he could. "I want you," he managed to get out between kisses and heavy breaths.

The older man paused momentarily, trying to clear his head a for a moment, "You-?"

"All of you," Louis panted, "I'm ready. Now. I need you."

Harvey felt a primal growl rumble in his chest as he roughly picked up his prey. Louis squeaked in delight and wrapped his legs around Harvey's waist. He purred happily, feeling the hot hands on his bum, holding him up.

Harvey put him down on the bed and pulled the boxers off of him with no ceremony. Louis gasped feeling the rough denim of his jeans against his skin. The hard front of his crotch against his tender parts. Impatiently, he pulled at his shirt, yanking it over the blond mans head.

It passed in such a flurry of desperate, hurried movements Louis barely could barely keep up, Harvey could barely keep up. But when all clothes were on the floor, and there was nothing but skin touching skin, the world slowed down.

So when Harvey kissed his body open and made him tremble in anticipation, it was worth it.

_"Harvey," she greeted in a velvety voice._

Damn, she really was beautiful, in a Jessica sort of way, but younger, and blonde. Very, very blonde. She was scary, ruthless and cutthroat. Yes, he did need both to describe her. An absolute bitch. And their competition. If they had been competing.

"Narcissa," he replied.

"Given my proposal any thought?"

"Somehow becoming co-managing partner at your daddy's firm doesn't hold much appeal to me."

"It's a huge raise," she said, "and I heard you were back on the market. The rumour mill has it you're quite the whore mongrel these days."

"uh, I'm not really-"

"Oh shush," she said, "I'll have you moved to sit next to me. It'll be nice."

Harvey never thought he'd been so relieved to see Jessica heading over, "I'm sorry Narcissa, but I'm here for work-"

"Nonsense, you will sit with me."

"Actually," Jessica said, "Harvey will be sitting with myself and our colleague. As he says, this is business, as well as pleasure. I'm sure you know well you will provide too much distraction for Harvey's blood flow consistently going north."

Louis watched Jessica staring Narcissa down, and failing. She always was a prime bitch. But then again, so was Jessica. With a sigh he walked over. Who knew, perhaps she'd flee as soon as she saw him, like the old days.

"Hi guys, people are heading to their seats- Narcissa, long time no see," he greeted, pretending to be oblivious to the tension.

"Yes, long time. I was just trying to convince Harvey to sit with us, expand his horizons and all that," Narcissa said and straightened her back, almost successful in covering up her momentary lapse of confidence.

Jessica gritted her jaw, slightly irritated that Louis had just trampled in on what was actually far more than Harvey switching seats. She knew damn well Jackson-Brett was trying to take Harvey off her hands.

"That's nice of you," Louis said with a pleasant smile. "But I think we both know how that going to end. Hm?"

Harvey subconsciously stepped closer to Louis, his own shoulder slipping behind Louis'.

Narcissa's lips thinned for a moment before a forced smile graced her face, "wow, what's it been for you now? Eighteen years?"

"Seventeen," Harvey corrected quietly, "and five months."

Narcissa gave a nod to Louis, "you have him trained well," she said, as if they were talking about a puppy. "But then you alway did have him on a short leash."

Louis gave her a clearly unimpressed smile. "What can I say, he has issues with inconsistent authority figures."

"Indeed," she said and stepped away, "if you'll excuse me, we should be seated."

The second she was out of hearing range Louis turned to Harvey, "two weeks."

"Deal," Harvey replied.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Jessica asked. "Will someone explain what personal agenda just stumbled into my professional agenda?"

"Later," Harvey promised.

"-I mean, women's bodies have ways of shutting that kind of stuff down if they really don't want it," Atkin scoffed. "There are so few children born from rape, it's -"

Several people were staring at the man in shock.

"39 000," Louis injected.

"I'm sorry?" the politician asked.

"There are 39 000 children born from reported assault rapes every year- that would be the women attacked by strangers, the minority of rape victims, estimated to be about 7-8% of the total number of rape victims. Thats... 87 children every day, just in North America. Of course, that doesn't account for the dark numbers," Louis put his glass down, "Unless, of course, I misunderstood you. I can swear I heard you say women have ninjas in their vaginas protecting them from bad mens sperm."

If it hadn't been exactly what he had said, Harvey would have laughed at Louis' choice of words. But it wasn't funny. He gave Jessica a look that clearly said 'I told you so.'

Even Narcissa looked like she was sucking on a particularly sour lemon.

"The _point-" _Atkins interrupted, somewhat frantically, "Is that we must protect Christian family values."

A few people murmured their agreement, but no one picked the argument back up.

* * *

A/N sorry about the lateness people, but ive got exams coming up :(


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Harvey stood between his boss and his... Louis, feeling very uncomfortable as the party came to an end. He tried to smother down the urge to lean closer to Louis whenever Narcissa would turn her predatory gaze on him.

Jessica tried to keep her mind on the conversation with a politician, rather than on her employees. Since when did her attack dog Harvey Specter go from being the guy with the smoking gun to the guy that was hiding behind Louis Litt from a _girl. _

"It surprises me you aren't married yet," Narcissa, said suddenly, catching the attention of a few people as it was obvious she was talking to Harvey, who up 'til now was doing his very best to be his charming self to the ladies of society- except her. "I mean, you've been going strong for nearly two decades and gay marriage has been legal for several years now. Partnerships even longer."

Jessica frowned, but was too smart to actually open her mouth and ask what was going on. To her surprise, a light flush spread over Harvey's cheeks.

Harvey did enjoy having peoples eyes on him. He truly did; the spotlight made him shine, and he loved to shine. But he loved it in a professional capacity, not in a personal one. Especially not one that was so close to home.

"Haven't gathered up the courage to ask?" she cooed.

* * *

Seventeen years ago.

Harvey was sure the sun hadn't been this bright in the previous days. Graduation was just days away and his life was _perfect. _

Deep in thought he fingered the velvet box in his pocket.

His father had visited just the day before and given it to him. Not that Harvey had known he was bringing it, or even coming, but now that he had it, it made him think.

His mother's infidelity had made him balk at the thought of commitment of any kind, let alone the lasting kind. His father had set him straight, and not in a too gentle way either.

_"I promise you, the price is worth the good years, and the good things, like you and your brother. It's worth it. So don't let this boy slip away because of your mother. Don't let her ruin your life even when she's a thousand miles away." _

A part of his mind whispered that the reason he was willing take his fathers live-fast-die-young advice was because he knew it wasn't legally binding.

Harvey opened the box, letting the sun hit the gold band. He nodded to himself, determined. He wouldn't let him get away.

But first... he had to come clean.

* * *

Present

"Oh he asked," Louis said, ignoring the embarrassed groan beside him. "I just didn't accept."

"Why ever not?" Narcissa asked sweetly, pretending to not notice Jessica watching them with hawkish eyes.

"I'm not the marrying kind," he replied just as sweetly.

* * *

Jessica sat opposite Harvey at the bar. They had long since left the party, it being a complete disaster. "So that's what it's all been about; you asked him to marry you. He declined and your pride couldn't take it," she sighed and watched the traffic passing by. "And you've been a mongering manwhore ever since."

"Not exactly," Harvey said, his voice unsteady.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_"So that's what it's all been about; you asked him to marry you. He declined and your pride couldn't take it, and you've been a mongering manwhore ever since." _

_"Not exactly," Harvey said, his voice unsteady. _

Seventeen years earlier.

"Louis, I'm sorry, I..."

Harvey trailed off. Louis felt his body and his mind go numb, but he sat waiting almost expectantly for Harvey's next words. Louis ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the too long locks.

"I would have anyway. I wanted to..."

Did he really? Because that did not mean much to Louis at all. "Do you expect me to believe that?" Louis asked. His voice was surprisingly smooth despite that he felt like he was about to throw up.

Harvey reacted at the utter lack of emotion, not even anger, in Louis' voice. He seemed to crumble in on himself, wanting to disappear. "No..." Harvey said quietly, "I don't..."

"At least you had the backbone to tell me yourself," Louis said. He hadn't moved from his chair since Harvey came in. He was glad he hadn't gotten up. Somehow, sitting down made it... easier; his legs were jelly and standing up is just wasn't an option. It also let him appear calm. His apparent calmness unsettled Harvey. Or maybe it wasn't his calmness, but his stillness. "You can leave now." Louis didn't have anything to say to him.

"I'm sorry," Harvey apologised again. "It really wasn't my intention..." Harvey paused and look away.

His heart lurched painfully. Why? Why couldn't Harvey look at him. If it was not his intention, then why did he? Louis didn't say anything, he just arched a brow at Harvey and nod at his door.

Harvey was dismissed.

Harvey's lips set in a thin line of resignation. He gave a nod, then he stood up and walked towards the door. What else could do Louis do but watch Harvey leave? He paused, hand on the door handle. He turn around. Harvey look pale and tired. "I'm really sorry," Harvey said again."I had a great time."

Did he really? Louis was certain Harvey could sense the sarcasm oozing from him, because the older man seem to deflate even more, but Louis couldn't feel sorry for Harvey.

"It was really fun," Harvey said, maybe an attempt to make Louis smile.

It didn't work.

It was fun. Such a pity is wouldn't be remembered like that

Harvey's voice was quiet, almost like a whisper. But Harvey's voice was one of the things Louis loved about him; how he'd whisper, and Louis could still hear him across the room. "Bye." Now it made his stomach hurt.

Harvey looked at him, only for a second. It made him wonder if Harvey wanted Louis to stop him from leaving, or even just accept his apology. But he didn't stop him. He just told him to leave. And Louis wouldn't accept Harvey's apology, because it meant nothing to him. It was like putting a band-aid on a gun-shot wound.

"Harvey -" Louis said.

Harvey turned back with cautious hope shining in his eyes.

"Don't forget that-" he said and pointed at the open velvet box and the ring beside it on the table. It was a battle to keep his voice even.

Harvey seemed to fall to pieces. His hands were shaking as he picked up the box that looked ridiculously small in his hands.

Louis could swear there were tears in his eyes. But if Harvey had hope for forgiveness, Louis hoped he shattered it.

Harvey opened the door. Louis don't say a word. Louis waited until the door slid shut behind him before he stood up. His legs felt odd. His entire body felt odd. Louis walked to the door, but he didn't open it. He walked to the other side of the room, to the window and saw Harvey slowly walking along the path; even from a distance he looked so defeated.

He closed the curtains and undressed. Louis moved slowly; his body felt foreign to him. He wasn't quite sure why, it was an alien sensation. It was the middle of the day, and it was sunny outside, but he was so tired. He crawled into bed, curled up and pulled the covers tightly around himself.

They smelled like Harvey.

He felt something inside of him tore and an odd sensation spread in his body, centring in his chest. Louis twisted fitfully, trying to make the uncomfortable feeling go away. It made his stomach clench and his joins ache. Louis buries his face into his pillow, just wanting it to stop. He breathed in deeply and Harvey's scent soothed his pain.

Why couldn't he cry?

* * *

A/N My laptop ius stiull fiucjkedm, as yoiu can see. IUm, not jkiuddiungm, thius ius how iut types now. IUve been typiung stiuff iup on m,y tabletm, whoch ius a paiunm, biut at least iuts som,ethiung. IUf yoiu bothered to read thiusm, yoiu are a dediucated readerm, and IU thanjk yoiu!''


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